This isn’t news. It’s something that has been slowly moving along since October…my grandparents are moving to Oregon and last night we said goodbye. Corra had a breakdown towards the end of church where, in her words, she “got all her stuff out in front of everyone. It was kind of embarrassing”. She came to find me sobbing because it hit her again that her life is going to change in a big way. My sweet girl is my mini-me in every way…we will never be beautiful when we ugly cry. But it’s ok…It gave me a chance to tell her that I’m feeling that exact same way, I’ve just had 30 years of practice keeping those big feelings in their box until it’s a good time for me to let them out. But they are there. The happy at G&G being settled close to people who can give them what they need until they don’t need anything anymore. The sad that our Sundays need to be figured out again. And birthdays. And Independence Day. And Conference weekends. And and and. Corra said it’s like when Grandma K died, and she’s absolutely right. Those two human beings have held a place of prominence in our day to day living for as long as any of my family can remember. It’s an unusual thing for a kid to be super close to a great grandparent. Being the oldest grandkid and starting my family really young and having grandparents who wanted to live close and be involved allowed those bonds to form. To say it’s been a blessing is an understatement but I don’t really have other words.
They are a lot like my mom. Shocker, right? There are things about them that drive me crazy, but that I wouldn’t change for the world because it’s all just a part of who they are.
Last night we said a quick goodbye because in their generation crying and sadness are weaknesses best glossed over with smiles and hopeful. In the end they cried and I cried, because there is so much love there. We wiped the tears and Grandpa made a crack about it being like a funeral. He’s not wrong. We are solidly in the place where every good bye could easily be the last. They talked about seeing us in April if we can make it out to L.A. and we all are holding on to that to make the good bye less final, less real.
The goodbye process was really a series of dinners: the last one at their house, a surprise dinner put on by our church, the last one out at a restaurant (we went out to dinner or lunch with them every month of 2022 just the four of us. For this one we invited the kids), and then the last last one at our house.
To be honest, I did a terrible job of taking pictures of these events. I think my brain is in denial that these were the last of anything and definitely didn’t warrant taking pictures. Sigh. Maybe it’s better. But I did get pictures of Grandma and Grandpa meeting one of our baby goats, and Grandma and my little girls plotting and scheming about how their secret club is going to operate remotely from now on.
Those little things are what matter, I guess. The fact that G&G have been in my life and then my kids’ lives for all of those little moments is what is making this hard. Big moments are good too, and goodness knows I live for the Big moments. But I think connections are made and love is forged more in the in betweens of life. I’m so grateful that these two wanted to be a part of it all.