So. Sigh. This time around was a mixed bag. It was awesome and so hard. Complicated and really simple. I have a feeling this is how Mother’s Day will be for me from here on out. It’s broken into two parts: me as a mom and celebrating my mom. The me part was awesome, simple and so perfect. The my mom part was so hard, complicated and unpredictable. Maybe I’ll just skip to the pictures while I figure out what I even have to say about the day…me? speechless? Now, that’s weird.
My oldest three went to a church activity and made chocolate dipped strawberries. I can confidently confirm that I got more berries than any other mother in our congregation. Plus they used super dark chocolate. Double winning.
We’ve been meaning to take the kids to Hwy 55 (a diner) ever since we went with Grandma and Grandpa and had a robot deliver our food. They built one nearby and the Saturday before Mother’s Day we went to lunch. Also, Neil bought me a new orchid for my collection. My present from everyone was a diamond art kit of my very own. Finally I can channel any and all control freak tendencies into creating a thing of beauty. I even know where I’ll hang it when it’s finished.
For the day itself I set the menu and everyone else cooked. Except for dessert…I did that myself. Breakfast and lunch: waffles (made entirely by Naomi), and leftover pizza like usual. Dinner I requested smoked salmon (and boy, did Neil deliver), pea bacon salad, normal caesar salad, and biscuits. Garyn did the pea salad (made bacon for the first time), Layna did the other salad, and Corra did biscuits. I made an angel food cake with peaches and cream. The cake was good, the peaches were good and the cream was weird. I’m not doing dairy right now, so it was a coconut something or other that didn’t really work. Oh well.
I couldn’t spend too much time finding a picture of her. I had big plans to flip through the photo book of her I made for my kids and I just didn’t quite get to it, it’s still so raw. Spending two minutes to find ^^^ this picture has me crying. She made us videos of herself just talking about random stuff and life. It’s been a year and a half and I can’t do it, I can’t watch them. Someday I hope that I can watch them without sobbing and having my stomach turn inside out. Someday, maybe. My breakdowns about her happened conveniently not at church, so that was nice. But I just miss her and the only thing that’s changed in the intensity is that I can keep it buried for longer stretches. When I feel it, it’s just as strong as the days and weeks after she died. I’m told it gets better with time…I’ll let you know in a year.
I do still love Mother’s Day. My family makes it delightful and it’s nice to have an excuse to tell all the women I admire that I hope they have a wonderful day.