Hi. Guess what? I have something I want to write about! So I had an epiphany and know that I’m succumbing to the basic human error of feeling like because this is a new idea for me, it will be a new idea for you. Just smile and nod…I’ve got pretty pictures.

It’s not a new idea per se. More like a vague hazy understanding that I finally coalesced into words. “Recovery” does not always have to mean a return to the status quo. Rather it just means a return to a stable state…whether that state is the same as before or not. I think this happens more often than not and why we are always talking about “finding new normals.” Since this clicked in my brain, I’m seeing it everywhere around me. Winter is weird on a farm…everything is run down and stagnant. But you start to see the direction it’s heading and what things will look like when it comes alive again. When it recovers, if you will.

My surgery obviously changed my physical reality forever. Status quo? Nope. Not happening. Recovery is proving to be an irritating roller coaster, but when I accept that my body is forging an entirely new reality I manage to find more patience for myself. Some people in the ward brought me these beautiful flowers and I love how the color combinations are kind of weird. I’ve never seen a red orange version of Baby’s Breath. The weirdness and unexpectedness of it made me smile.

Here’s some more things that are recovering in my life and moving towards gloriously new normals…

I re-potted my orchid collection. They are so much happier. They told me so. You can even see how well they get along with one of my Christmas presents…The Lego Orchid set. My babies helped me build it after my surgery and after the big kids went back to school. It’s so cool. Plus I’ve cleared some containers and will be embarking on my own succulent journey just because it occurred to me today that I want to. My beehive is alive!!! I can’t say any more…I might jinx it. Our cover on the chicken pavilion got hit with one storm too many so Neil replaced it and the bright cream color makes me happy. Speaking of chickens…they are starting to lay again! We have a bit to go before they are properly producing but they aren’t broken. I did wonder in the fall. Neil caught the Bonsai bug and cleared out the train-wreck of weeds between our two raised garden beds to create a place for his new hobby. More on that in a second. My garden looks atrocious but now that it’s really, truly dead I can see the bones of it and it feels doable again. I’m starting to see what I can make of it this year. Corra has been dying to plant wisteria for years and we are doing it. I pulled the trigger and now have four living entities in my kitchen depending on my not being lazy for their very survival. Turns out wisteria makes lovely bonsai so Neil got one more tree to learn on. Corra is putting another one in my herb garden which she has adopted. The other two? I’m sure I’ll do something clever with them. Lastly, after next weekend we will be done with goats and other large mammalian livestock for a good long while. I’ve felt a need to simplify and clear space in my life. I’m not sure what will be filling that space, I just know that as I look forward towards what normal will mean on this farm thing…it needs to be simpler. Processing is sad and giving up is hard. Full stop. They are both often necessary and for us, it’s time.

My recovery has been helped greatly by the reminders from people who love me that it takes time and hard work. My body is taking care of the hard work…I just need to allow the time to not drive me crazy. As for the rest of the recoveries happening in my life, I’m looking forward to doing the hard work and seeing how it will look when we get there.